i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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