Got a toothbrush?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
