normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
