Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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