Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
