guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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