remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
