i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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