a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
