i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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