worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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