if you like me you must not know who I am
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
