Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
