Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
