dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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