so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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