Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
