So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
