Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
