She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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