There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
