just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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