I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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