dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
