the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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