his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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