Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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