You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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