is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
