I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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