Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
