we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
