I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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