from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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