and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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