You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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