I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I will pee on everything he values.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
