That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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