Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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