Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
