I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
