dude i'm inner monologue high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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