NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
