that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
