I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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