He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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