hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
