I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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