I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Say something about gay babies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
