First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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