Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
