i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
