I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
