Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
