kristin has been a bad kristin
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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