SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
