we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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