Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
