...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
