you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
